an everyday moment – Lisa Leonard Designs Blog

Change is so hard

adventures, an everyday moment, be brave By Lisa Leonard August 3, 2018 9 Comments

You know that icky, scared feeling when you try something new? What seemed like a great idea a couple days ago now feels like a completely awful idea. I’ve been having that feeling fairly regularly over the last few years Steve and I walked through a marriage crisis a couple years ago and it was one of the darkest, scariest times of my life. I was desperately unhappy and I knew I needed to make big changes–for me, for my life. We both needed to change and grow. And thankfully, we’ve both been working hard to do just that.

One of the biggest changes I have been making is, instead of trying to please other people and make them happy, I am simply trying to be ME. Simple, but not easy. Being me means saying what I really think, asking for what I need without apology and feeling my feelings {instead of trying to take care of everyone else’s feelings and ignoring my own}.

Steve and I at the Castle Ruins

The other day we were in the beautiful town of Helmsley, England, shopping and eating and relaxing. We walked up the hill to see the Castle ruins–which were breathtaking. We got a glimpse of the ruins outside the wall and it seemed like we were all winding down–ready to get in the cars and drive back to our Airbnb–but I really wanted to go inside and get a closer look at the ruins. I didn’t want to make a fuss or inconvenience our whole group and I almost didn’t say anything. But I reminded myself I’m trying to show up, say what I think and want without apology. It may seem like a small thing, but for someone who has lived a lot of life trying to please other people, it’s scary and stretching. I spoke up and it was no big deal. Everyone was on board for getting a closer look at the ruins. Steve someone how got tickets for just a few pounds and we ventured inside. It was beautiful, MAGICAL, so fun. I’m so glad I said what I wanted.

Helmsley Castle Ruins

Speaking up and asking for what I want is a change that has been HARD but so necessary. I gave a small example but there have been much bigger, scarier moments where I have said really hard, honest things and you know what, it’s been better. Better for me, better for Steve, better for my marriage, better for my soul. It’s so important. Best of all, it’s working. I am changing. I am more ME. I am happier and more relaxed. I wrote a poem about change and I wonder if you’ll relate to it?

All four of us at Helmsley Castle Ruins

Change

A stiff shoe

To be broken in

New

Different

Uncomfortable

Aware of each step

Left, Right, Left

Awkward

Blisters

Maybe this was a bad idea

The old way

Before the change

Wasn’t so bad

My old shoes were fine

They were comfortable

But worn out

Too small

The soles were worn smooth

And slippery

No tread or traction

To keep me stable

To move me forward

Change

I can see ahead

These new shoes will take me there

I wear them a bit each day

I practice a new way

With each awkward step

I am changing

Slowly the shoes soften

My blisters heal

My feet adjust

The shoes become part of me

What was new

Begins to feel normal

To feel right

Right, Left, Right

Little by little

The old shoes are behind me

The old way is behind me

My new shoes fit well

My new way is working

Moving forward

Braver with each step

Stretched and Grown

Changed

…

Stepping away from what is safe and known is scary but necessary. Making change is brave. Be ME without apology is how I love myself and others–it’s how I encourage my family to be who they are without apology. Being honest, being real is loving and brave. It’s brave love. There is so more of my journey of brave love in my new book {so crazy, exciting}. More details on the book here.

Are you making any changes that scare you right now?

hello san buenaventura state beach

an everyday moment, hello monday By Lisa Leonard June 11, 2018 2 Comments

Hello friends

David is officially on summer break this morning, and Matthias is finishing up his last few days of 8th grade. It’s really hitting me that after this week I have two HIGH SCHOOLERS. So crazy and exciting. My heart can hardly process the information. Watching my boys grow up is surreal. I love it and I hate it. But mostly I’m awestruck and grateful.

Last week I met up with my twin sis Chrissie in Ventura. We usually have a long lunch and go to different thrift store–but on this day we didn’t want to shop, we just wanted to talk and catch up and be together. We had a long lunch and then walked on the beach. It was just what my soul needed.

How about some hellos for a new week?

Hello magical gloom that seems to soften everything.

Hello smooth stone worn and weathered by water and time.

Hello finding a heart worn into this rock and feeling like it was meant just for me. Is that possible? Does that God of the Universe give us messages of love? Does he do things just for me? I think he does and that is a truly amazing thought.

Hello sister of my heart. To be known and loved by someone so incredible is humbling and empowering.

Hello making time to make time for the most important things.

Hello natural sculptures left behind for us to find.

Hello phone calls to make and appointments to schedule.

Hello planning summer adventures–some small some big.

Hello Father’s Day this week! We have a couple fun things planned.

Hello debating whether or not to wash my hair {again, how often does it need to be washed?}

Hello waiting our office and being mesmerized by the miracle of a coat of paint!

Hello trying to be less grumpy and more grateful. It’s a work in process.

Hello writing and sketching and creating. So many ideas to capture!

Hello to you. It’s a brand new week with beauty to be found. What are you saying hello to this week?

I should do more, should be more.

an everyday moment, thoughts By Lisa Leonard September 30, 2016 5 Comments

I should keep the house cleaner.

I should lose ten pounds.

I should speak more kindly to my kids.

I should be more.

I should be better.

I should be someone other than who I am.

Should. It has a heaviness to it, don’t you think? It seems innocent enough but has undertones of guilt. It always points out my shortcomings and implies I’m not who I should be. It blames me and says I’m not good enough. There are as many shoulds as moments in a day. My head is full of them. They make me feel tired–like I’ve already failed. I’m letting people down. I’m inadequate.

Should takes away my power and shames me. There is a right way to do things—and I’m not doing them that way. Should pretends to be on my side, but should is no friend to me. Should says it has my interests at heart and simply wants to motivate me, but should will never be satisfied. Should has already decided who I should be and how I should spend my time. And no matter how hard I try, should always wants more.

I want to eliminate should from my life. I want to speak words that encourage and lift up. I want to free up myself, family and friends from should. I want to replace should with kinder, gentler words.

already-enough-lisa-leonard-3

I should keep the house cleaner.
I could keep the house cleaner or I could choose not to worry about the dog hair and laundry today.

I should lose ten pounds.
I’d like to lose ten pounds but I am lovable and worthy just as I am.

I should speak more kindly to my kids.
I want to speak more kindly to my kids. I’m not getting enough alone time and I feel worn out. I will make rest a priority this week.

I should be better.
I am imperfect.

I should be more.
I am enough.

I should be someone other than who I am.
I am loveable just as I am.

Where did all these shoulds come from? They’re everywhere, woven into the fabric of our culture. We use should as a tool to criticize ourselves and others. We don’t intend to be harsh but should always murmurs its disapproval.

I am working to remove should from my vocabulary. I’m replacing it with words like need, want, can, am. Words carry power. I want my words to offer grace and allow imperfection. Words that celebrate who I am, who you are. Words that remind each of us we are precious and unique. I shouldn’t be anything other than who I am. I am enough, just as I am. You are enough, just as you are.

From that safe place I can live with bravery and intention. You can too.

I am not my to-do list

an everyday moment By Lisa Leonard September 20, 2016 12 Comments

My to-do list has a dark side. There are days when my to-do list glares at me while I sip a second cup of coffee or whispers words of condemnation when I lay down for a nap. My to-do list can be harsh and judgmental. I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this—but my to-do list actually called me a worthless failure the other day. Unbelievable, right?!

Who gave my to-do list that kind of power? Well, I guess I did.

Every morning, for as long as I can remember, I wake up and start making a to-do list. Some items are small, like ‘wash dishes’ or ‘schedule doctor visit’. Other items are bigger such as ‘go through the boys’ clothing’ or ‘plan marketing presentation’. I love seeing check marks next to each item on my to-do list. Ah, isn’t that the best feeling? It makes me feel like a superhero!

I’m probably not the only one who feels like there aren’t enough hours in a day. I hop out of bed and hit the ground running. Between emails, dishes, meetings, grocery shopping and signing permission slips I barely have time to gather my thoughts. The day rushes by—and I know by evening I’ll hit a wall of exhaustion. We’ll have dinner, cuddle on the couch while watching Netflix, then fall into bed. The next day it starts all over again.

But recently I’ve been rethinking my to-do list. I give it too much power–way too much power. I’ve been letting my to-do list determine my self-worth. If I accomplish a lot, I’m a wonderful person. On an unproductive day, I’m a waste of space. Both of those statements are lies. I am me, just me—creative, kind, imperfect, unique and amazing. I actually need downtime. I thrive when I have space to do nothing. Making time to clear my head and think brings new ideas and clarity. Rushing isn’t effective—in fact, it makes things worse. And when I’m tired I’m such a grump. My meltdowns are not fun to watch.

I’ve been experimenting with a different approach. I still use a to-do list but there’s a lot less on it. I’m learning I can only accomplish a few things each day and I have to prioritize what’s most important. Instead of getting everything done, I’m getting the most important things done. I’m intentionally slowing down and making room for peace and calm. This necklace is my reminder to make space to breath and stop trying to do it all.

Yesterday I didn’t make our bed like I usually do and it wasn’t a big deal.

I didn’t make it to the grocery store, but we got by.

I didn’t fold the clothes in the dryer. I let them wait.

I didn’t return emails. I just didn’t get to it.

And I didn’t stress out. I got some other, really important things done. And it was enough.

With my more streamlined, kind-hearted to-do list life continues to move forward–everyone is bathed, dressed, fed and healthy. The world hasn’t spun off it’s axis. In fact, although not everything is getting done, I’m getting the important things done. I’m prioritizing what matters most. Instead of trying to do everything halfway or ‘good enough’. I’m doing less but giving it my full attention. I’m rushing less. I’m scheduling less and making room for downtime. I feel stronger, more peaceful and present. Overall I’m better. It’s been life-changing. I think I’m hooked.

My to-do list doesn’t determine my self-worth.

I’m already worthy and loved.

I’m already enough, just as I am.

How’s your to-do list treating you lately?

hello little bits of home

an everyday moment, hello monday By Lisa Leonard February 8, 2016 3 Comments

Lately we’ve been sprucing room by room. First, I purged and gave away lots of stuff. Then I’ve been slowly adding to each space some plants, throws and vintage finds. Home is feeling fresh and welcoming right now–and that’s something to be thankful for!

It’s Monday–how about some hellos for a new week?

Hello no school. We are staying home today and having a slow morning.

Hello cuddling with Louis and Beasley. Matthias and these dogs are a match made in heaven. Seriously.

Hello laundry to do and hoping I can muster up some motivation.

Hello energetic David. Lately he’s been spunky and trying new things–some good, some not so good. His rhythms are changing as they do every once in a while. He’s asserting his independence. He’s growing up–and I’m trying to let him.

Hello clean eating. We just finished a two week cleanse {phew! it was awesome and challenging!} and now we want to keep eating whole, fresh, delicious foods and stay away from refined sugar {my downfall!}

Hello sunshine and heatwave. It’s 80* here this week!

Hello craving goat cheese. I know some people hate it, but I love it. Lately I can’t get enough.

Hello reading this autobiography. What are you reading right now?

Hello listening to this podcast. What are your favorite podcasts?

Hello to YOU! It’s a brand new week with beauty to be found. What are you saying hello to this week?

how to make plans while doing everyday issues

an everyday moment, hello monday By Lisa Leonard June 8, 2015 11 Comments

Hello friends! It’s our last week of school and I’m trying to figure out how to make summer as relaxing and productive as possible. We have fun things planned but also lots to do–work, house stuff and just life. I always image summer as this super relaxed season but I always end up rushing from one thing to the next instead of slowing down.

Today I’ve got a few pics of our kitchen sink to share. This is the spot where countless dishes have been washed. I love the light from the kitchen window and a few pretty things that make it a special space. It’s Monday, how about some hellos for a brand new week?

***Hello Monday is where I greet the new week with an open heart and a fresh perspective. It’s a new beginning–and there’s so much to be thankful for! Join me by leaving your own hellos in the comments section or linking up a hello monday post there!***

Hello silly vintage sign from Ruby Rose.

Hello big window and sunlight.

Hello pretty orchid.

Hello yummy smelling soaps in glass jars.

Hello tiny stained glass window.

Hello working a lot this week because then it’s SUMMER {I’ll still work but not as much}.

Hello busy busy in the workshop. It’s just been nuts lately. Exciting and crazy.

Hello hanging out with the boys this summer.

Hello slow mornings–my favorite!

Hello saying good-bye to teachers we ADORE.

Hello planning summer projects–art, camping, lego camp and swimming with friends.

Hello having dinner with friends this week.

Hello brand new, beautiful week. It’s gonna be a good one!

What are you saying hello to this week? Leave some hellos in the comments or link your own hello monday post there.

gorgeous day in morro bay

an everyday moment, family By Lisa Leonard March 12, 2015 No Comments

Last weekend we spent the afternoon in Morro Bay. The weather was insanely pretty. My mom left yesterday, but we had her with us for a week. And it was wonderful!

Steve road his bike to Morro Bay and we met him at Taco Temple. Yum.

We walked the path to the rock and saw otters playing.

I love my boys.

The squirrels {chipmunks?} were extra friendly.

Steve went into a music shop and when David saw this piano painting, he really wanted it to make noise!

I hopped next door to the bead shop, looking for inspiration.

Then we got Thrifty ice cream and came home.

That night we had leftovers and played scrabble. Pretty much a perfect day!

Come back soon, grandma! We love you!

And now the weekend is here again. Thank goodness! What do you have planned?

the best way to feel happy is free {sunshine and waves in avila beach}

an everyday moment, hello monday By Lisa Leonard January 26, 2015 11 Comments

Hello friends! We had a very mellow, happy weekend. It was much needed after a stressful week. I feel like I finally exhaled. And guess what? Today is Monday–a new beginning and a fresh start. How about some hellos?

Hello Avila Beach. We are there fairly often, so on this trip, I tried to capture some fresh photos and look at things with a different perspective.

Hello saying goodbye to one of our dear friends, Peggy today. Steve is playing guitar at her celebration service and we are grieving her loss with friends.

Hello clean boys room. I went through all their drawers and I have three bags of clothes to give to friends. Feels so good!

Hello dishes done and groceries waiting to be gathered.

Hello warm weather. It’s gorgeous out. We need rain. We are enjoying the sunshine and praying for wet weather.

Hello tummy pain. David has been struggling lately. GI issues are the hardest thing for him. I think he’s having a growth spurt–he’s super hungry but then struggles with reflux when his tummy is full. It’s so hard sometimes!

Hello creating. My mind is going a mile a minute lately–and I love it.

Hello Downton Abbey. Are you watching the current season? We’re obsessed.

Hello to you, sweet friend! What are you saying hello to this week? Leave some hellos in the comments or link up your own hello monday post there!

enjoying sunset at morro bay and a family imperfect days

an everyday moment, hello monday By Lisa Leonard January 12, 2015 16 Comments

A few evenings ago we drove over to Morro Bay to catch the sunset and stretch our legs. We arrived at twilight and Matthias and Steve threw a baseball for a bit while David and I cuddled. We started out a little grumpy but by the end we were laughing and feeling refreshed. That’s how most days go around here–it’s imperfect with bits of beauty. There are frustration and joys. I’m learning to be okay with this–which is a good thing since I don’t see it changing any time soon. Life is imperfect and still beautiful.

It’s Monday, a brand new week with beauty waiting to be found. How about some hellos?

Hello golden sunset. You fill my soul.

Hello brothers holding hands. Beautiful.

Hello throwing a baseball. This kid’s got a good arm.

Hello tiny, determined feet. David’s got lots of energy and he wants to explore.

Hello sweet moment. Matthias was frustrated, so Steve was comforting him and David wanted in on the hug, too.

Hello sweet Pug. His owner was so friendly and told us all about him. He really cheered Matthias up!

Hello stacks in the moonlight.

Hello drawing what inspires you. Matthias drew the sweetest pug and Steve and I were so impressed. This kid needs a dog!

Hello meetings in LA today.

Hello family who helps take care of our boys. I am so thankful!

Hello endless mounds of laundry. I am so overwhelmed! I’m waving the white flag.

Hello making a new pork loin roast recipe this week. Yum!

Hello cleaning spots in the house that don’t get enough attention. You know, the spots where things pile up–like the hall closet. Feels so good.

Hello Fixer Upper. Seriously my new favorite show on HGTV. Have you seen it?

Hello putting my phone away in the evenings and trying to be more present.

Hello working out regularly and trying to fit in walks here and there. Love it.

Hello planning and dreaming and working hard.

Hello finding time to rest and just be. So needed.

Hello Monday! It’s a brand new week! What are you saying hello to? Leave some hellos in the comments or link up your own hello monday post there!

errands and christmas fun

an everyday moment, family By Lisa Leonard December 19, 2014 3 Comments

There’s so much to do this season! There’s the stuff I need to do {emails, wrap gifts, prep for Christmas parties, send cards} and the stuff I want to do {grab a cozy blanket and read or nap!!}. So during the crazy, we’re running errands and making time for fun. It’s a stressful time of year. So we’re remembering to breathe and enjoy the small moments. To let things be imperfect. Here are some pics from the last week.

There were some very sweet moments–and I’m so glad I captured them! How do you find calm in the midst of the crazy?

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