I love my husband, but it’s not enough.

I love my husband, but it's not enough.Years ago when I was a young mom I took David to the pediatrician. He was congested and breathing rapidly. He was tiny—only about 12 pounds even though he’s just had his second birthday. Matthias was six months old. I was worried and tired. The pediatrician saw David and quickly decided we needed to head over to the hospital for chest X-rays and possibly to admit David and get him on oxygen. I stood there with David in my arms while Matthias slept in his car seat and started crying. I couldn’t do this alone. Steve was away at a retreat and was overwhelmed, to say the least.

We were new to the area and I didn’t have a lot of friends but I had some acquaintances. I called one of my new friends and asked if she could meet me at the hospital and take baby Matthias so I could focus my attention on David. She was about to head to the grocery store and didn’t have time. She said was sorry, but no, she couldn’t meet me.

I was stunned. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone. Honestly, I felt abandoned. I was overwhelmed and scared. Slowly I got both boys into the car and made my way to the hospital. I bundled the stroller and car seat and diaper bag and front carrier and all my messy emotions and somehow got David’s X-rays while keeping Matthias fed and entertained.

David was prescribed antibiotics and put on a nebulizer breathing treatment. Steve headed home from his retreat and jumped in to help with the babies and medicine and all the things.

And that day I decided something that changed my life. I needed to find friends who would drop everything when I needed them. And of course, I would do the same for them. I needed real friends, true friends—friends who would jump into the mess with me and love us without judgment. I didn’t have time for fickle friends or people I couldn’t rely on. Friendship was a necessity and without it, I wasn’t going to make it.

And I’m grateful to tell you over the years I have found the dearest, most honest, and loving friends who have walked with me through joy and darkness. And they’re willing to drop whatever they’re doing if I need them. And I do the same for them. It has changed my life. These friendships are stable and safe when life is scary and messy. These friendships are a sounding board so I can work through my thoughts. These friendships make life fun and inspire creativity.

Do you have friends who will drop everything off when you need them? Do you have friends who love you through thick and thin?

Where would I be without my friends?

The friends who listen without judgment? The friends who make everything more fun? The friends who inspire creativity?

The friends who can handle my brutal honesty and will share their deepest truths with me as well?

The friends who drop everything when we’re in a crisis?

The friends who cheer me on and believe in me?

I don’t think I’d be here without these dear friends. And I certainly wouldn’t be the ME I am today without their love, support, and energy.

I love and need my husband and I love and need my girlfriends. My partner can’t be everything for me. He is amazing and incredible and it’s not enough. I need my friends. I have my coffee girls—we’ve been meeting every week for coffee or lunch for EIGHTEEN YEARS! How amazing is that? I have friends I met through my husband and friends I met standing in line at a thrift store. I have online friends who I’ve never met and online friends who I regularly talk to and text with. I have my sisters who share my history and know my heart even when I don’t have words.

Friendship is shared hearts, shared coffee, shared joy, and tears. Friendship is lives overlapping with beauty and holding space for the ugly, messy stuff of life. Friendship is a firm foundation and a safe place for whatever comes our way. Friendship is one of the greatest gifts. I treasure and care for these gifts. I pray I can give as much love, care, and joy to my friends as they give to me.I love my husband, but it’s not enough

How has friendship changed your life? Reach out and thank those dear friends today. Sending them a text, sending them love, sending them a little gift. Today is the day to cherish your dear friends.

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