wholeness is a contradiction

What is wholeness?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve spent time reading about it, journaling about it and praying about it.

I want to be whole–but often I feel so broken and inadequate. I’m imperfect, but also amazing. I’m strong and capable but also prone to discouragement when I’m worn out. Wholeness is a contradiction. The more I accept my inability to be whole, the more I find it.

To fully experience life I have to open myself to every part it—the beautiful parts and the ugly parts.

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Wholeness isn’t perfection. I’ve made my to-do lists and faithfully checked off item after item. By the time I reach the end of the list I have to start over again. The list is never-ending, but my energy is limited. I’ve tried to be perfect and failed miserably time and time again.

Wholeness isn’t life without conflict. I’ve tried to control things in my environment, my home, my family to make us all ‘happy’. It’s impossible. Each of us with our own personalities and preferences can’t be simultaneously pleased and content each moment. Relationship requires give and take. It requires flexibility and freeing ourselves to feel what we feel.

wholeness lisa leonard-01

Wholeness is waking up on a Saturday morning to pancakes and syrupy fingers.

Wholeness is taking the dogs for a walk and letting the laundry wait.

Wholeness is clearing our calendar last minute to stay home and rest.

Wholeness is a date night that ends with a fight. But we climb into bed and drift off to sleep side by side anyway.

Sometimes wholeness is laughing and sometimes it’s crying.

Sometimes it’s singing together in the car.

Sometimes it’s raised voices and strong opinions.

Sometimes it’s kind words.

Sometimes it’s forgiveness. Maybe all the time it’s forgiveness.

Wholeness is taking care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually, so I can love you better. And knowing you need to do the same.

Wholeness is believing you’re strong where I’m weak. And I’m strong where you’re weak.

Wholeness is you and me smoothing out each other’s rough edges.

wholeness necklace lisa leonard

Wholeness is a little necklace around my neck reminding me together we are better. Together we are stronger. Together we will walk this winding road hand in hand.


  1. Oh, yes! Love this! Especially the part about a date night that ends in a fight. We had one of those last month. We were both in the midst of report cards and my preparations for Europe, and it went so badly that we parked downtown for the dinner portion of our date, and he asked if we could please go separate ways til it was time to pay the babysitter. Ouch. But somehow we still came together in time to go to dinner before date night was over. That’s the part that matters.

  2. love your blog and designs. Just ordered 3 silver rings for myself with grandchildren’s’ names.!

  3. What inspiring thoughts. Thank you for sharing them. I think that it is indeed learning to forgive– yourself first for not being perfect and then others. We are all just human and most of us are doing the best we can in any given day at any given moment. Thank you for creating such beauty.

  4. Beautiful. I feel sometimes you expect too much of yourself, to be perfect in everything. There is so much beauty in accepting our imperfections, embracing them, and finding joy in them.
    I love every one of your wholeness is…. I love that you Meditate on these things and I love that you share it here. Thank you

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