Saying goodbye to Matthias was so much harder than I expected. I think I always knew in my head that having one of my boys move out would be challenging, but I wasn’t prepared for how much it really hurts my heart! Our kids are supposed to grow up and move out, right? So why does it feel so wrong and hard?? How do I cope with my kid leaving for college? I know that they won’t stay little and safe in my arms forever, but why did this feel like a surprise gut punch?
As Matthias left for college it feels like both boys’ childhoods are over. It’s a completely new stage of life and it’s disorienting. There are days in life when everything changes—a wedding, the birth of a baby, a death, a big move. Transitions are brutal—it’s so easy to see what I’m losing and so hard to know what’s ahead. I am just stuck in the here and now, in the loss and the sadness. But time after time we find our footing again and create new rhythms full of comfort and beauty. So here we are creating a new rhythm without Matthias as part of our day to day routine. While I miss him, I know he’s creating his own new rhythms and I know good things are ahead for him.
All these transitions are a huge part of our story. From being little to growing up, starting a family, and ultimately having your kids find their own paths, we experience so many different unique phases in our lives. If we stayed in one place forever, we would never get to grow and experience the fullness of it all! It’s so important to remember that each transition is not just leaving something behind, but stepping into something new. It’s bittersweet, but friends it’s also so meaningful.
One thing that will never change in all the transitions is the love I have for my boys. Even as they grow and step into their independence, the space my heart has for them grows more and more full. The sadness of missing Matthias only shows how deep my love for him goes. I will always want him close, but I can also learn to enjoy watching him experience all the beauties of life from far away. And I can learn to let it be because I hold him in my heart no matter the distance, and I know God has him in His hands!
But a mom still needs her comfort. One way that helps me feel close to Matthias is my personalized necklace with his name hand stamped on a charm. Jewelry is a small but tangible way to hold my boys close. It’s comforting—touching these charms and feeling so much love and gratitude. Sigh. Tears and joy—I’m feeling all of the feelings right now.
If you need a little piece of your kids or family close with you, I recommend getting a personalized everyday jewelry design! Having my necklace close to heart is the biggest comfort when I’m missing them. It’s the perfect little reminder of our love!
Find it at my shop here!