trying to shine {when it’s hard} and letting myself be stretched.

{on the set of D Living. My nieces, Megan and Clara came to cheer me on!}

A couple weeks ago I made lists, prepared, packed my bags, and headed to Dallas to do a morning show and speak at Blissdom Conference. I was so stressed the week before that I detailed out where I needed to be and when–in half hour blocks in my calendar. I made a list of what outfit to wear what day, including accessories so I wouldn’t have to expend any brain power on tiny details.

The evening before my the morning show I pulled up the list on my phone and packed all of the things I needed for segment. I made tidy piles and put everything into bags. I had printed directions to the studio and breakfast pre-ordered through the hotel. Every ‘T’ was crossed and every ‘I’ was dotted. I laid in bed but couldn’t fall asleep. For an hour I laid there thinking about what needed to happen the next morning. Finally I let my mind wander and drifted off to sleep.

Too soon my alarm sounded and it was time to rise and {try to} shine. My nerves began to kick in again. I tried to take my time getting ready I kept telling myself the segment would be fine. I showered, dressed, and did my make-up.  I double checked my list to make sure I had everything I needed for my segment and headed down to my car. Slowly I pulled out of the hotel parking lot and listened as my maps app on my iphone told me where to go.

I missed my freeway entrance and did a U turn. I turned on the radio and then turned it off–ugh, too much input. I wanted to pull over the car and curl into a ball. I noticed the knot in my stomach and the tension in my shoulders. “I hate the way I feel” I thought. “Why did I ever agree to do this?” It wasn’t just nervousness. I felt fear. I was afraid of being humiliated. On live television.

I arrived at the station. I sat in the parking garage and attempted to collect myself. Deep breath. Another deep breath. Ok, go time.

After a little hunting I found the studio. I set up my DIY project and displayed some jewelry. More deep breaths. As the cameras rolled, I felt the nervousness fade and away. I felt like myself. And most shocking to me, I had fun. Afterwards I felt like I had climbed Mount Everest. I felt victorious. The segment wasn’t perfect but it was good–and I felt like I grew as a person.

I want to be willing to be stretched. I want to be willing to be afraid. I want to be willing to fail–as hard and scary as that may be. Because I can’t grow if I don’t try hard things.

Tonight I fly to Salt Lake City and tomorrow morning I’ll be on Studio 5–and I feel nervous AGAIN. But maybe a little less so than last time?

Have you done anything lately that felt hard? Where have you felt stretched?


  1. I am surprised by the data in this article I found it to be more than incredibly remarkable but it really also made me reflect. It is hard now a days to search out appropriate information to ones search, so I am happy that I found this article post

  2. I just watched your Studio 5 segment and LOVED it! You did a fantastic job and looked so cute, too! I’m having a hard time finding vintage silverware to stamp, but I’ll keep looking.

  3. I am currently working two jobs, raising 4 kids alone (2 of which I still homeschool) and living on a small farm. Those aren’t the things that are the BIG THING though, although they certainly stretch me everyday! lol
    The thing that I am starting even while shaking in my socks is creating a non-profit that is a coffeeshop/cafe that at-risk youth would intern at for their first job. It will be Christ-based too! There is so much to do, but God has placed resources in my path and most of all He is guiding me.
    Prayers would be appreciated! the youth in our area have been at an all time high for suicide and there is so much poverty/oppression in our area, this is definitely something needed.

  4. Those hard things are always a bit easier when tackled with prayers. I might have lost it on missing my freeway entrance….Driving in new cities scares me to death. I’m like you, I’d have to have the directions all planned out and perhaps have even driven it the day before to plot out my route.

  5. Welcome to SLC!! Being a transplant here from Orange County…Big Welcome… enjoy you stay! And if you get bored… you can come visit my little shop in Bountiful just north of SLC…

  6. Yes, I felt the same tension and butterflies just this past Saturday while waiting for a film crew to arrive for a docu-series that we agreed to participate in. All of the anticipation left me in a bundle of nerves. Once they were finally here, I felt more relaxed and was able to even enjoy the day. I know there many people praying for us, so I thank the Lord for being my Help!

  7. I felt a lot of fear when I decided to choose the preventive mastectomy and reconstruction. (1.5 year ago)
    I have the breast cancer gene, my mother died of it
    it was a long surgery of 11 hours and I have had a lot of pain.
    But I have become stronger …
    Now I can do anything, I am the queen to see things in perspective.

    Katrien x

  8. Huge congrats to you for stretching yourself despite the fear! I have never had to appear on live t.v., I was once part of a PBS documentary and that was scary enough for me!

  9. every time i meet a new client i feel the same fear. will they like me? will we connect? will i be able to think of anything to say?

    it’s a huge leap for this introvert to voluntarily meet new people so often.

    1. So true Melissa! I’m an introvert too–but I like to call myself a social interovert. I wish we were sipping coffee together!

  10. I saw the segment – it was great! You are braver than I to go on tv, and yay that you are doing it again 🙂 This little business of mine and now blogging are both stretching me, but even today I have seen how it can help our family, and that’s encouraging! Thanks for sharing your journey. (And hi Camille!)

    1. So good to be stretched–but scary too! I’ll post tomorrows segment on Friday morning {unless I totally screw it up!} 😉

  11. I just spent the last four months raising my two little girls alone while my husband travelled for his new job. He’s coming back next week! And then we get to stretch ourselves again: we are moving across the country to a state far from any family and that we’ve never even visited before. And we have no place to live yet. Another big stretch along with a giant leap of faith. Thanks for sharing your experience! I wish I lived in Utah so I could tune in to Studio 5, but I’ll have to check it out online later.

    1. Thank you Emilee! I’ll post the segment on my blog Friday. And hugs to you for parenting alone–that is very stretching!

  12. As I am transitioning into another phase of life (I’ve decided I won’t be teaching next year) I feel like I’ve jumped off the boat without a life preserver. Timely words for me today. Thank you. THANK YOU. I am thankful to be able to watch others like you blossom as they stretch and grow. An encouragement to be sure. Blessings to you as you, Lisa. Did I say thank you? 🙂

    1. Thank YOU Camille. You are such a sweetheart. How exciting and scary to make a life change. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. xx

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