pain is not a gift

Pain is not a gift from God.
It’s what God does through the pain,
the way He molds us,
the way He enlarges our hearts to love more deeply
and opens our eyes to see more clearly,
this is the gift.
Pain is clarifying.
When we’re grieving, everything else melts away.
Things that usually worry us seem trivial.
Pain shows us the truth; we are fragile creatures.
We come before God empty-handed.
In that humble, needy place, He meets us with love and grace.
We are changed in a way that can’t be undone.
We are torn apart and lovingly sewn back together.
Each stitch piercing our tender hearts.
It’s a deep, indescribable ache.
We will carry this ache with us always.
Slowly, the ache becomes part of who we are.
We would never wish for pain, but once on the other side, wouldn’t change it.
We’ve walked through fire and we are not the same as we were before.
We’ve been through the darkest night and we’ve glimpsed hope.
As we heal we see with new eyes.
As we heal our hearts beat with new strength.
As we heal we hold more joy.
Most amazingly, in His unknowable way, God uses the brokenness of pain to make us whole.


  1. Thank you for these eloquent words. Typed a copy and will leave one for each of my children and grandchildren to be given to them after I die . They know how much I love the written word and hopefully your words will help them through their grief…

  2. Hi Lisa, You are such an inspiration to me. I always look at your website to try to decide what I’d like to order in memory of my family who have gone to be with God. I’m looking for handwritten jewelry & may decide on the bracelet with the pearl.
    I came across your writing “Pain is Not a Gift” tonight. With tears in my eyes, I read it three times to savor your words. I also noticed you wrote it on November 14, 2016.
    You wrote this 10 days before My family lost our Daddy, our God sent StepMother, and our special needs sister in a house fire early Thanksgiving morning, Nov. 24, 2016. We live in Alabama & the fire is still under investigation.
    I know, without a doubt, that they are in the presence of our Heavenly Father. My heart is broken, trying to understand why and how.
    Reading what you so beautifully written touched my heart and I am going to read it often.
    Thank you so much. Janet

  3. Your words touched me more than you’ll ever know. We have lost our adult son, our second child . The pain we are experiencing you have put into words, something I couldn’t explain. Thank you, you are an incredible women.
    May God bless you and keep you near to him.

  4. This post in particular resonates with me right now. I’m feeling deep sadness for a family who has lost their son to meningitis… this boy was the same age as my son. He’s just finished his final year of high school and had the work at his feet… only to have it taken away.

  5. I read and re-read the last couple of posts. I had to send my daughter a piece of “empty-handed and open-hearted. She is my greatest gift and is struggling with her senior year in college in Chicago. I know that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but it hard to tell that to a 20 year old.As her momma
    I want to scoop her up and make it better.I will pray harder. Thank you for posting. I love every one. Good day to you.

  6. Your last few posts have made me tear up. I am an avid follower of your blog and Instagram and have been for years. My apologies for not commenting more often! Thank-you for so boldly sharing your precious heart with all of us.
    Much love.

  7. Wow. Another post speaking right to me this morning. Thank you for your work here. You are making a difference❤️

  8. I love seeing you and what you say,your little fellow looks so happy,he always has a look like a great mom keep up the good work

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