stained glass and thoughts on love

This past Sunday we attended church with my mother in law. Her church is so welcoming. And I know David is accepted and loved. That said, when he starts to get wiggly and impatient after sitting in the pew for 20 minutes, I feel my heart begin to beat faster. At first it’s just small noises, but as they get louder I feel exposed, like a bad dream where you’re at school and you realize you forgot to put on pants. No one is judging us–I know that, but I still feel vulernable.

So after trying, unsuccessfully, to quiet him down, we slip out the back door. We walk around the courtyard for a while, and then I peek inside a room across from the sanctuary. There is a huge stained glass window and the sun is shining through. And next to it, a piano–just waiting to be played.  So we go inside. And David taps out little tunes while I try to capture the magical light of the stained glass window.

And in such an imperfect, raw moment, I find grace. God gives me many gifts, some so big I can hardly believe it. Some so small I almost miss them. This was a small gift. A few moments of quiet and beauty, where God reminds me that I am not alone. That I am loved. That there is grace in the imperfection.


  1. beautiful truth.
    and seriously…..that window is AMAZING!!! i want to make that window! don’t you? don’t you just want to sit down and create when you really look at the details in something like that?!
    awesome post!!
    come back to kansas…i miss you. 🙂

  2. My church has a “cry room” which has a glass wall through which we can watch the service, and the priest’s voice is piped in. It’s soundproof, and sometimes it is true bedlam in there. Kids have cheerios and bottles, and many roam around when they get too antsy to sit still. When my son was little and his ADD meant sitting through mass was torture for him (and me) that room was, pardon the awful pun, a Godsend. Sometimes I sit in there now just because that’s where all the cute babies are! I am so glad no one judged you, and that you found a few moments if peace and beauty in an unexpected place. God shows up in the unexpected places, I guess.

  3. Lisa, my family is just starting on our journey of having a special needs child, and I’ve found it difficult to find people who can relate to us and vice versa. Your posts about David are just wonderful and inspire me to acknowledge the imperfection of my baby, but appreciate and enjoy the beauty of her, too. It’s something no one can understand unless they are living it…I know you’re living it, and you are a great example of how to live it.

  4. Now this is the church service I want to attend: Where a boy plays the piano with his heart and the one who made Him is completely glorified. I am so you were one of three in attendance. Hugs to you!

  5. stunning lisa. being able to find the gifts, both big and small, is truly a blessing. you have such an amazing ability to not only find the gifts, but share them so magically with so many. thank you! xo

  6. Lisa,
    I started my day visiting this beautiful post and I needed to stop in again to share that your words and images are still touching my heart this evening. It made me think of a song I heard titled Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns.

  7. Your blog is such a blessing to me Lisa…thank you! God bless you and your sweet family. I hope you know how inspiring and thought provoking your blog is to so many.

  8. Sometimes it feels like everyone is judging you when your child behaves like children sometimes do. I remember getting wiggly and noisy in the pew after 20 minutes when I was a little girl too. My mom would give us peppermints to keep us quiet lol. What a beautiful stained glass window. When you look at a single piece of stained glass it appears broken and but when you see all those broken pieces put together they make something pretty amazing.

  9. Love this post. As a mommy I can so relate to the heart-beating-a-little-faster moment. Good for you for finding grace to be and let David be too.

  10. I am reading “Stained Glass Hearts” by Patsy Clairmont right now! Love, love, love stained glass… something so beautiful out of something pieced together.

  11. You did capture it Lisa! I love the progression from far away to up close with the stained glass, and then how it is right over David’s shoulder as he is playing his music, so very sweet and wonderful. Thanks for sharing………. 🙂

  12. Love the perspective. Lisa, you were one of the people on my mind as I composed today’s blog post at feelLOVDeveryday. I thought about how you had many excuses not to move forward with your business, I’m sure. But, you did move forward and I was wondering how you were able to find the courage to forge ahead to where you are today?

    Here’s the link if you’ve got the time:

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