but there is so much joy.

Yesterday I felt sad. Nothing brought this on. I woke up feeling ‘heavy’. I didn’t feel blue or blah. I felt ‘lump in your throat’ sad. So after I put the boys down for a nap, I laid down and had a good cry. I cried because many of the dreams we had for David will never be realized and because there are children who aren’t loved like they should be and because this world is a painful place. It felt good. It felt good to remember and FEEL how painful this journey is. And everyday I am amazed to find so much joy.