On Tuesday, July 2, 2002, I went in to see my OB/GYN for my 38 week appointment. I had a very typical pregnancy. No major concerns, except placenta previa. I had extra ultrasounds to monitor that situation. During this visit, the doctor noticed that I was measuring a little small for being 38 weeks along. He did an ultrasound to measure the baby’s size. David was only measuring 31 weeks in size. He thought perhaps the due date was wrong. I knew my due date was correct. We scheduled a visit with a perinatologist for the following day. That evening we got together with friends and prayed. We were very worried something might be wrong with our baby but we really hoped that things would be OK and we would just have a small baby. We contacted our close friends and family and told them to pray.

The next morning Steve, Chrissie and I went to the perinatologist. She did an ultrasound and confirmed the baby’s size was unusually small. I asked if perhaps it could just be a small baby, with no other complications. She showed me a growth chart and his size didn’t even make the first percentile. They predicted he would be about 3.5 lbs. The doctor explained that it could be a very minor condition (perhaps the umbilical cord wasn’t providing enough nourishment) to some kind of fatal genetic disorder. At this point I literally felt like my world fell apart. The glass wall in front of me cracked and all the pieces fell to the ground. What was happening? Everything was supposed to be fine! We had the room all ready and his little clothes all washed. We had his car seat strapped into the car. We were waiting for our little boy to be born any day.

They decided to admit me to the hospital that day at 5:00pm. Steve, Chrissie and I went to the Marmalade Cafe for lunch and walked around the mall to waste time. I went to the grocery store and bought some magazines. Everything felt like going through the motions. This baby we had anticipated with such joy was suddenly a stranger and I was terrified of what I would see when I met him. We were consumed with grief and worry and waiting. The waiting was so hard. Who would this little boy be?