I hate conflict. While I was collaborating on a big project a couple years ago I found myself in the midst of some very uncomfortable conversations with my coworker. I had ideas and she didn’t like them. She had ideas I didn’t like. There were side conversations happening and feelings got hurt. We tip-toed around each other but we were both frustrated. And it wasn’t getting better, it just kept getting worse. I truly began to see the power of setting boundaries and having hard, honest conversations.
Want to have a superpower?? Learn to set boundaries and engage in healthy conflict as quickly as you can. Ugh I know. It’s hard!! Dang it’s uncomfortable at first—especially when you’re trying to feel everyone else’s feelings and control their moods. But I realized, if someone isn’t willing to respect my boundaries I was never going to find peace in that relationship anyway! As I’ve practiced setting boundaries and having hard conversations (even when my knees shake and my voice cracks) I can’t believe how free I feel! I worry less. I enjoy my family and friends more.
I’ve craved peace for so long. I avoided conflict hoping things would be peaceful and sometimes it worked, but sometimes I found myself frustrated, bitter and resentful. Why was peace so elusive? The answer is getting to know yourself (and what you need and want) so you can have healthy boundaries and honest conversations. I know it’s not sexy or easy but dang it’s powerful!
My peaceful heart necklace reminds me that peace is possible—and the way to experience it is through the hard stuff. There’s no going around it.
