my brave love journey

I haven’t shared much about this, but a couple years ago my husband Steve and I went through a marriage crisis. It was one of the scariest, darkest times of my life. I told him I wanted to separate. I needed space, time, I needed to be alone so I could think. It was surreal to say those words to him. It was like someone else was saying them. But I was desperate and something had to change, I had to change.

For a long time I believed that to be loved I had to be less.
Steve didn’t tell me these things. I brought this deeply held belief into our marriage.
I had to make myself smaller so he could grow and shine.
I had to give up what I wanted so he could have what he wanted.
I had to sacrifice myself to make him love me.
If Steve was happy he would love me.
If my kids were thriving they would love me.
I believed there wasn’t enough for all us—I would have to take less so they could have more.
I thought this was love—give everything and ask for nothing in return.
It didn’t work. At all.
I tried so hard for so long to make everyone happy. I went from tired to frustrated to bitter and exhausted. But I kept trying and trying. Giving and giving, sacrificing and making myself smaller—until I was desperate.
I was done trying, done with my marriage, done with feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I was done with feeling like a failure.
I needed space–time to be quiet, to rest, to figure out what I needed to change so I could thrive.

my brave love birthstone ring–inspired by my journey

Steve was devastated when I told him I wanted to separate but he graciously made space for me. That evening, after I told him I needed time, he packed an overnight bag and went to stay with a friend. The next day he came home to stay with our boys and I went away for a little over a week. I spent time grieving, walking, journaling and praying. It’s hard to describe how hard those days were–the depth of my sadness, the fear that I was losing my family. I don’t know if I’ve ever cried that much in my entire life. It was like all these feelings I held inside me–all the feelings I tried to ignore while I took care of everyone else–came flooding up to the surface. Those feelings were there and they had to be felt. I knew things had to change and I knew the change was going to be brutal. I wasn’t sure if our marriage could survive–but I knew I had to change me, my wrong beliefs, my habits that were hurting me and my family.

During those dark days I had a lightbulb moment. I am a person–a whole person with my own thoughts, feelings, needs and preferences. For so long I saw myself as less–just a vehicle to take care of the other people in my family. I didn’t count. My feelings didn’t matter. But in that lightbulb moment I realized I DO COUNT. I matter. I matter just as much as my husband and children. I have thoughts and feelings and needs and preferences just like they do–and they matter. There are four people in our family and I am one of them.

my brave love spinner ring–inspired by my journey

So I started saying what I thought.

I started saying what I needed.

I started speaking my mind and sharing my feelings.

I started making time for naps, walks, time with friends, alone time and so many more things my heart needed.

I started being a whole person with my own thoughts, feelings, needs and preferences.

My voice would shake as I began to represent myself. I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to put up walls and run away but I stayed and tried to engage honestly. It was terrifying. Steve and I fought more. Things got messier. I worried about the boys. I disrupted our rhythm. Change is hard. There were times I didn’t think we would make it. There were many tears and I so much fear as I started living honestly and without apology. I had to be me, even if it meant our marriage ended.

Slowly but surely things started to take shape. I was getting stronger and braver. I was becoming whole–becoming ME. Becoming who I was always meant to be.

Friends, life is crazy hard sometimes. While I long for peace and beauty, sometimes the only way to get there is through conflict and darkness. My journey has been up and down, forward and back and I still don’t have it figured out–but I’m learning.

Steve and I are married and our relationship is stronger than ever. We are having more fun. We are learning to let each other be who we are without fear. It could have ended differently and even with a different ending it could have been beautiful. There isn’t one right journey or one right path. There is simply the journey each of us are on, the path each of us are walking.

When we walk in honesty and vulnerability we are living out of our truest selves.

This is love.

This is brave.

This is brave love.

115 comments

  1. Lisa,
    I chose your book literally because I have been contemplating ordering rings for my 4 children, and I recognized your name from the site on social media.
    I just want to say THANK YOU for being so brave and sharing!
    I cried so hard when I got to the ALONE chapter because you can be surrounded by people and love, but a STILL feel all alone. I often feel this way.
    About 4-5 years ago, I became super overwhelmed. It had been building up for years. I was trying to give work my very best, my kids the very best and be a decent wife, do laundry every night, make lunches, pull out clothes, etc. I seriously felt that I could not breathe and was drowning. I often hoped that maybe a car would just come in my lane as I would never hurt myself and send the wrong message to my kids in how to deal with life.
    I have always not felt good enough. No matter what I did, how hard I tried, it just never seemed enough and it was pressure that I was doing to myself. I put me last and I was physically and mentally drained.
    I made mistakes by being impulsive and left my husband, broke my kids hearts, left a job that I loved and ended up with someone I had been friends with for years.
    It’s been the hardest 4 years of my life, and I still struggle with guilt, and never feeling enough. I am trying hard to let God into my heart and hope that one day he will give me hope and clarity.
    At the end of the day, I wish I had that brave love for my family and mostly myself. I wish I knew that I should matter too and taken care of me better, so I could have made better choices.
    I can’t help to feel grateful still that I have 4 beautiful children, and a love in my life that I never knew existed.
    So your story resonated with me and obviously so many woman on so many levels. You have a beautiful life and family! Thank you again for being vulnerable and sharing your struggles, hopes and dreams.

  2. This was so powerful to read. I recently returned to the home after four months of separation for the same reasons with the same needs of finding myself and being my authentic self without guilt. Reading your story was validating. Thank you.

  3. Life is a Stressful. Add marriage to the mix and it is many times more difficult. Marriage takes tons of work, give and take, and rarely is it a 50/50 proposition. That said, it is most richly rewarding, especially when the Creator is the third partner in the relationship.

  4. I just finished your book. I am going through a rough time myself. Three years ago my husband lost his eye site. I am feeling a little lost and I feel like I need to have space. I feel bad that I want time just for me.

  5. I am 66 years old. Your “old” life is my life.
    Reading your blog I realized I could have easily written it.
    Be small. Put EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ahead of you.
    Do this until you drown in your nothingness.
    If someone asked me what I would be or do if I could be or do
    Anything I wouldn’t even have an answer.
    I search for MY soul.
    I hope one day before it’s too late that I find HER?

  6. Hi Lisa
    Somehow I did not receive your book, my phone has been kind of acting up so I will try and order it again.
    I wanted to ask you some questions, if you don’t mind. I have a somewhat interesting back story. Many people have told me to write a book. To be perfectly honest, it’s rather intimidating. But I believe that it is possible that maybe some lessons could be learned and maybe mistakes avoided and open up a true life 24/7/365 world of grief. A passion for the care of the people men and women that we send to fight for my Freedom, they come home with horrors that are not understood by anyone who hasn’t walked in those boots!!! My mother was murdered in the VA medical Center in Columbia, MO.
    I hope my ? Have not been to difficult. Thank you very much.
    Helen Courtois-Polacek
    [email protected]

    1. I just ordered my first piece of jewelry and I also love pugs !
      I think I will order this book also

  7. Thank you for sharing. I was in a relationship for 5 and a half years that just ended and I really needed to read this!

  8. I went through the same thing very recently. Only it was my husband that wanted space. I was devastated. I cried, I wanted to try marriage counseling but he said no. For 4 months I was so depressed. Evidently he thought about all I had said because he decided to give us another try. We still have work to do but I am so grateful that we are still together and refused to give up.

  9. Your list is so inspiring! How I love your honestly and your Strength you had within to be so brave! God Bless your journey and may you prosper uncontrollably ?♥️?

  10. Your journey I have taken. I thought I was reading about me. Mine however ended in divorce. I knew I had to leave or I was never going to the “me” back. I did leave. He was too busy drinking and working out of time, not thinking of how I was feeling with 2 little girls to raise. Also he moved us down south when the girls were 5 and 6 months. I stayed for 23 years. I thought maybe it was too late and my life did not matter as long as everyone was happy and doing great. I was divorced in 1997 and I got my life back. There were many days I still felt I was not good enough but yes I know I am.

    .

  11. I’ve been here. Some days I still am. But the one thing that I have learned is that only I can make me happy. Nobody and nothing else can. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️

  12. Wow! This is so relatable to me. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story., you ARE brave. I experienced the same thing a few years back and it’s a constant learning, growing state that I’m in now. At times it’s been hard, even ugly, but I wouldn’t go back for anything!

  13. Thank you for sharing ! I too am battling this Demon . It is very hard when you have been this person for so long,always giving , sacrificing yourself to try and make others happy to the point where you are totally exhausted , mentally and physically. When you decide to live your life a little bit , it seems that all hell comes against you ! No one is used to you saying no or taking up for yourself and they try to make you feel guilty for doing so , but with the Lords help ,I will be happy ? what I think , say or feel will matter ! It helps to know someone else has been where I am and found themselves!!!

  14. This is happening right niw in my life. I am scared, confused and lonely. Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless You

  15. I have been where you were, sometimes I feel like I’m still there. Although our children are grown, I’m still the one who does ALL the sacrificing. We are on a budget to save money, well I AM, he has spent more just because I put us on one. I NEVER buy anything for myself and I stay home. NOT him!! I just want to pack up and leave! We have been together for 27 years and I feel like I have had to raise him. I’m exhausted and would like for things to be about ME for a change. Thank you for sharing.

  16. Beautiful and I am so glad you shared . I am going through Ia time similar and fear I will lose my family. I am not going to give up. I hope he will realize he doesn’t want to give up on me. In my story the roles are reversed. I didn’t get along with his teenage girls and his mom for some time and he feels he had to choose side and now he does not not if the damage can be repaired. I pray everyday . I have trashed out to his daughters and they are on boarded to making this work. And his mom and I hope he will see we can build from this. I love this ring. I love the birthstone ring as well. If all things work out I want to get with all our birthstone

  17. Thank you…sounds just like my story also. But it gets worse when your beautiful sons grow up and meet someone who doesn’t like you. It is a struggle. And finding your own purpose us so important!!??

  18. IS THIS SOMETHING WE AS WOMEN GO THRU. I FIND MYSELF ALONG WITH OTHERS SAYING WOW THIS IS ME. I TRIED TO VOICE, I TRIED TO GET SEPERATION TO THINK. IT HASNT WORKED OUT FOR ME. WAS TOO HARD ON EVERYONE SO I JUST SUCKED IT UP SO TO SPEAK. IM GLAD SOME OF YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR WAY. MAYBE SOMEDAY I WILL AS WELL.

  19. I have admired this ring, just looks alone. After reading your story, I am ordering this ring. I have been through similar situations. Yours is so inspiring. I want your story on my finger.

  20. You DON’T know how much I needed to read this today!! I am going through, in, ALL OVER this same struggle RIGHT NOW! I’ve wondered if I can take much more!! Maybe I just need to go “find myself”. I’m sooo thankful for your story and your bravery in sharing sooo openly!! Thank you! You don’t know how much it’s helped others!

  21. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary. 2nd marriage for both of us. I could have written your words!! That’s how I’m feeling and in the process of trying to change. It is so hard!! I’m 58 years old and I have always been this way!! As long as I can remember!! Thank you for posting this!! It has given me strength and helps me to know I’m not the only one going through this!!

  22. I feel like we all are in the same situations here. Thank you Lisa for being the strong woman that got through this and is able to give hope to us who are also going in this direction. God has made us all strong women we just need to break our shells to see it. God bless each one of us

  23. I can identify with your story. I’m scared…scared to lose my kids…scared to be on my own…but I am lost…I fear that if I don’t take time for myself…soon…I may never find ME. Thank you for sharing your story…here’s to the future!

  24. I can totally relate. Mine didn’t have a happy ending, but I’m making a new life for myself. I was inspired by your story and jewelry. I just recently ordered a mother’s necklace, ring and spinner ring. Things for me that have great beauty and strong sentimental meaning. Keep making your stunning brave love. You have a new devited fan

  25. So many people go through these struggles and no one knows how lonely one feels. I had to find me again after my husband of 31 years told me he was leaving. I never knew how much I put everyone first and myself, well, I lost me. That man the love of my life is now my ex and thank God I found me again. I’m happy and my life isn’t perfect but my life is full of love and honesty. I found my voice ♡

  26. I got this ring for myself. I am just now starting to find my self after loosing my husband to cancer in 2015. I lost myself during his battle and gave all of me to everyone else. I didn’t cry, I didn’t greive, I didn’t get anger. I let everyone else do that and I was there for them. Then when my husband past I thought it was my turn but they didn’t want to give me that and all of his family was angry at me. So I walked away. I left even the town, I moved and gave up almost everything I had. I have now met a wonderful man that is so very patient and is letting me find who I am. We have been together 2 years and are to be married February 2020. I felt a very strong connection to the ring and the brave love I give myself now. Thank you for sharing your story.

  27. I am 65 and have lived my life doing what I thought was the “responsible thing” by making everyone else happy. What therapy taught me was that I made others happy and myself angry. I’m making changes (slowly because it’s a lifelong behavior) and it feels really good! My family was a bit taken aback but they’re learning. We can’t be our best for others if we’re not good to ourselves!!

  28. Thanks for sharing something so private. It lets us all know we’re not alone in our thoughts and feelings. Our marriage has had many ups and downs…..I’ve had to realize I need to change myself, not change my husband. He has to want to change. Best Wishes to you for a future filled with family, friends, fun and love!

  29. Thank you for sharing. When we honor ourselves, and believe we are indeed loveable (we are), we offer that invitation to others. When we hear the whispers that we are not enough, not worthy, we will live in that as well. It’s good (and brave!) to face the voices, rewrite that script and make it into truth. After all, no one can offer something to us if we don’t believe we should have it. Loving oneself is the first step into loving others. Blessings on being. Blessings for braving.

  30. Lisa–funny–I do metal stamping as a side business (not nearly like you) and just now building our site, AND I have 2 pugs and this past year, have been through the scariest things ever–AND writing a book. You provide such an inspiration. I’m so sorry for the loss of Beasley. I can’t imagine when I lose Muttsy (she’s almost 10). Anyway, thank you for your “light” and warmth.

    Jen

  31. Wow! I couldn’t believe when I started reading this it was as if I was writing about my life now and exactly what I’m struggling with !! I’ve been married for 43 years and I don’t know how to make everything right anymore! I’m so confused and don’t know how my life got to where it is now? This is not what I ever saw or pictured in mind of what I’d be doing or where and how I’d be doing it! Actually it’s almost the exact opposite of what I worked towards all of my life?? Thank You for sharing and for your honesty ! Peace and Blessings ??

  32. Oh wow you’ve just hit the soft part in my heart. I too put everyone before me. My husband and I are in a rocky spot. I never mattered. You are a very wise lady.

  33. I wish all women could just breathe! Breathe for themselves, their children, their husbands, their jobs, the list goes on. If I could allow women to know they too can …..go. Go out for some space, go out alone, go scream in the car, and just breathe. We all just hold that air in and out suffocated us so I truly hope your message is shouted out for all to hear!

  34. I think so many times, we as wives and mothers, we are the glue that keeps the household together. We can’t forget to take time for ourselves without the guilt that so often times follows. As I read your words, I saw myself in your story and thankfully now on the downhill side of my parenting journey, nearing the empty nest phase. I have to say learning to love yourself becomes easier the longer to do it.

  35. We’ve lost our 17 year old daughter on August 6, 2013. Her classmate was the drunk driver behind the wheel. I She was just about to start her senior year of high school. This was the beginning of the end of our family’s life as we knew it. I felt I needed to be the strong one for my husband and two boys who were 13 and 16 at the time. Since then, I myself have lost myself. I am still fighting to keep our family together, but at what cost. I want to thank U for sharing because you have become my lightbulb moment. I am happy that your story has become a happy one?

  36. This just broke me and made my day all in one. I relate so much and after 25 years married it is a scary place to be. It was so brave and loving of you to share. It is so important for us women to share our stories if only to let each-other know we are not alone. You inspire me to do the real and hard work. Thank you.

  37. Thank you for your story, I have been married for 38 years and going through a dark time myself, some of the same reasons accompanied but others. I felt inspirational knowing I wasn’t alone. I love my husband and family more than anything but i do knees to take time for myself without all thebguilt

  38. Lisa, thank you for sharing your story! It is so validating and helpful for me to here that I’m not alone in this. You are a blessing! May God richly bless you and your family❤️

  39. While reading your story I felt like you were telling mine, thanks for sharing and good luck on your continuing journey of growth and inspiration.

  40. I’m going through this as well. It’s been a hard journey. At first I didn’t know what was wrong..I felt like I had to live for everyone else and no one cared. As long as they were happy. I suffered in my own health and happiness. Today I’ve taken the steps to find and be me. Thank you for your story.

  41. We women so often ignore our needs until it is too late. Two whole people are much more fun and interesting than one person and his (or her) shadow. Good for you! Continue to discover yourself!

  42. I recently bought the brave love birthstone ring. It looks like entertwined twigs with 5 tiny birthstones. They represent me, my husband, my children and grandchildren. Several have the same birthstone size I was able to get 8 people in 5 birthstones. Except for my engagement ring I cherish this ring. Thank you for sharing a hard but victorious story. Thank you for sharing your beautiful talent!

  43. I think a lot of us who have been married any length of time can understand your Journey. My husband and I have just passed the 31 year mark and are in a small group for couples called Re/engage . The workbook is written by Todd Wagner and John McGee

    Good information in this book and self help.

  44. I have 2 kids (one needs very special help), lost my marriage, and was just like your “before” person. Now, I am 70, still caring for my 45 year old child, and am hugely in love with my man, after 35 years. I am losing myself and, for the first time, fighting out loud with this man. I actually don’t know who I am…never have. I am reading and rereading your words. Thank you so, so much.

  45. What a beautiful story and I know All of us wives, mothers + friends have been in the same situation for decades!!!!! When we learn that we must take care of ourselves b4 we can take care of anyone else + live our lives in truth, love and authentically we are finally on the right path of our journey!!! Thank you so much for keeping it real!!! Happy yall recommended your lives together!!!!!

  46. You are brave. Thank you for sharing your feelings and action. I feel the same way, the action part is hard to do. ?

  47. Wow. This is me and more .I’m 70 and I went thru changing to find me and no one cared. All I got was stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. Then I met JESUS. Even at 70 My heart is healing , I’ve had a stroke imminent back surgery , and God didnt leave me, everyone else did because I started to stand up for myself . God Bless ♥️

  48. If all you needed was a week to yourself, then you have absolutely no idea what a real crisis is. I have seen marriages survive financial disaster, serious illness, the death of a child, and even adultly. You need to count your blessings!

  49. Thank you for validating what I am sure so many women experience, feel and still never express for fear of losing everything. Yet, how much more do we lose when we don’t allow for ourselves in all of life’s demanding ‘expectations’ and equations? We can only pour from vessel for as long as we are willing to fill it, and as women, we must remind ourselves of the importance of refilling our own souls to truly be whole. Whether fulfilling the obligations to marriages, raising children, caring for aging parents, accelerating careers, leading in churches and communities or balancing all of these simultaneously — it is so very important to stop…and to determine if your soul need is in need of a refill, too. Thanks for the transparency, Lisa. Your beautiful words and inspiring designs are a great reminder for me. I wear several of your pieces and find myself pausing to do a soul check when I wear them.

  50. You just wrote my story!! Still going through some dark days and not sure of the outcome but I do know I matter!!!!

  51. So beautifully said. I have been married 38 1/2 years. Marriage is hard, but also is growing into the person we are meant to be!!! I have had many of these feelings over the years, but I had to grow up and become who I am supposed to be. Great thing is that I like my older self, things were hardest when I was confused and didn’t know who I was!!
    Great post. Inspiring. I also love your jewelry and gave several pieces to my daughter for Christmas last year!

  52. Your sharing gives STRENGTH AND COURAGE to US who are going through the same. Even now as I try to rebuild and understand our relationship! Thank You for being a Giving Soul.

  53. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. If you or your readers are looking for a therapist to help you through feelings like this, I recommend going to the psychology today website, and looking for psychotherapists in your area. You can search by zip code, by issue, by insurance, and you can read the profiles of the therapists and find one who may be the best fit for you and your situation. Best wishes to you all.

  54. Thanks for writing this! I’m going through a struggle that is hard for people to relate to. I needed to hear this.

  55. Thank you for sharing , it’s shows me that I am not alone in these feelings. I need my brain to be still so I can think about what I want and need. I appreciate you showing us your path, now it’s time to find mine?

  56. Lisa, thank you for sharing, I think we are all somewhat guilty of loosing ourselves, our needs, to make our loved ones happy and to make sure their needs are fulfilled. You are a very brave woman to finally realize that YOU are important as well. You have to take care of yourself as well, I have been guilty of the same thing for so many years. No more.. You are a brave woman. Brave love❤️

  57. I’ve been married 47 years. It took 20 years and a major bump in the road for me to find my voice. I let everyone else do the talking while I took care of them all. For the last 25 years, I’ve gained strength and courage and let my voice be heard … my opinions count … I count!! What a freeing thing to finally become partners in life instead of putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own. God is good.

  58. Thank you for sharing your truth in such a vulnerable and transparent way! There are so many women who feel as you do, but either cannot articulate their thoughts, feel guilty and undeserving and are afraid to rock the boat and see life as they have lived it, get messy. We are all individuals with emotional, spiritual and core needs of our own. Understanding who we are and what we need will keep us living our truth and our family and friends will be so much better for it!

  59. Sadly I went thru this in 2017 and my marriage ended July of this year. I am still trying to figure out my new life without my partner who I love very much.

  60. Thank you for sharing. At age 63, I am going through this now. 42 years of marriage, 2 grown sons, 3 grandchildren, and a teacher for 38 years. I have always been in the role that was needed for each situation. I have lost myself over the years…….on a journey of rediscovering.

  61. Omg. That’s so wonderful. That’s amazing. Yes yes yes. I get you. Thanks for doing what you needed to do but we’re in terror to do and then having the courage to inspire others by revealing your journey publicly.

  62. Thank you for sharing that! You are truly brave and this was right on time for me. It brought clarity and confirmation. I pray you continue you thrive in all that you do.

  63. What a beautiful honest story . In this life many people choose to give up and walk away . You are a blessing to many . We have to care for ourself first , or there will be nothing left for our family . Blessings as you continue your journey .

  64. Wow, I am the same way. I always am the one to do for everyone, go to everybodies life events while having none of my own. I love my family but feel I have no life. Always taking care of everything! But I feel I’m no one important. Feel when I speak no one listens. I need to read your book. Try to change to where I matter too. Maybe it will help.

  65. Perhaps Steve is able to finally be his true self as well. To not always be the strong, silent one. Maybe by being vulnerable to him, he has been freed to be vulnerable to you.

  66. So interesting that I actually read this… my mom just died and I’m as vulnerable as I can be and the fact that I have been married 43 years and STILL trying to be just me is exhausting!!! I have been through your journey and although I am trying to be as honest as I can, speak up,say my truth… seems like no one else is listening.., guess I’m doing something wrong…. I am happy to know that some people get their happily ever after…. I will continue trying…. tired ME.

  67. Yup, been there too!! Its important to find our voices and to use them. Blessings to all of us as we know ourselves and use our voices! Thanks for sharing your struggle!

  68. Good for you! Marriage is work, 24 hours a day, every day.
    My husband and I celebrated 33 years of marriage in October. I don’t know how we accomplished this bc we’ve had more BAD times than most, horrible, crippling, heart wrenching minutes, hours, months and years.
    But we held on and are still holding on….,sometimes for dear life!

  69. As a Mom sometimes we get all the menial “stuff”. Wheather it is the house, children, cooking, laundry. your husband…! We have to learn to take time for Us! When my children grew up I was teaching preschool but I knew I was’t suppose to continue teaching. I left my job, as difficult as it was! I got my degree and got a job at my sons school! After 15 years I left and went back to preschool! Blame it on my age but I have never been happier! Our boys are grown and on their own, My husband is teaching now and not traveling!! We just purchased a new home that is just suited to us! Every day I tell myself GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!

  70. I totally get this. I am feeling this way right now. Some time to myself might be the answer. Turning to God always helps me.

  71. As I read your message with tears in my eyes, I feel your hurt, your pain and your struggle. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. My husband and I are struggling and I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. Your words are everything I’ve been feeling and asking myself lately. God bless you for being so strong. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.

  72. what I needed to hear most today. I don’t even know how I ended up on your blog. I think I looked at a picture on FB and then click, click, something caught my eye and then click to your blog. and the message….. all of your beliefs, those are what I carried to and was terribly unhappy, everyone else was very happy. It reflected to me what now my daughter is going through… it is so hard for us to let go and just be. Thank you for you message it was a light bulb moment.

  73. Thank you for your story and may God continue to bless you. I have been married for 26 yrs. and feel as though I’m not truly living. I feel like I’m existing and just going through the motions of life. I do have a close relationship with the Lord. I had a horrible car accident in 2005 which resulted in many injuries and I was pregnant with my third child-the third boy. Thankfully, I carried him full term and my two other sons sustained minor injuries. I took the greatest hit. I just want to live my life to the fullest, but I feel as though I’m being held back from doing so. I just want to be free to LIVE!

  74. Brave Love~well stated. I’m in the midst of my own situation I’d love to hear how you worked through this together. Did you go through individual, couples, marriage or family counseling? Or any other retreats? My husband doesn’t really believe in counseling and to be honest I don’t know what I feel other than I know I’d love for my marriage to end like yours~stronger!

  75. Thank you so much for sharing! I am in the midst of something very similar and your message had “spoken” to me more than anything else I have come across in my journey. We seem to be in the mend, there are still more days than I’d like that I question my marriage and if it’s right for both of us, but however it turns out- like you said, I believe it will be beautiful. Thanks again!

  76. Woman are so strong!?
    We all go though the similar thoughts and feelings and never give up,
    We need our sisterhood to share our struggles, hopes and dreams?
    ✝️God Bless us all?

  77. This was me too, except I was trying to keep peace with a narcissistic husband, I became less so he wouldn’t rage because I learned if I disagreed or spoke my feelings, it brought yelling…we are separated and for the first time in a long time, I feel peace and the ability to be me….I have become more active at church and able to do more for others. I am happy for those that can repair their relationships but sadly, mine isn’t one of them….

  78. Wow! I read your story, and I felt your story. I understand where you are and where you’ve been. Thank you for being so very transparent and sharing your heart. Then I saw this…”Your story could be the key that unlocks seone else’s prison. Don’t be afraid to share it.” – Toby Mac #speaklife

  79. Being authentically you, accepting that being your true individual and wonderful self first makes all relationships we foster much stronger. I’m working more in that as well. Thank you for sharing your experience thus far.

  80. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story; glad you’ve made it back with your hubby. I wasn’t so lucky, but things happen for a reason they say. I got stronger & have a good family base. Take care & enjoy your newfound life w/your family.

  81. I think many Moms feel just as you did/do. Being a wife and mother is overwhelming. And then Moms who work outside the home have all that extra stress and planning. I am presently 64 years old, and relaxing in retirement. But I truly remember feeeling like you do. That is why I take one day out of my week to help my daughter who has a 6 year old daughter, and twin boys who are 4. She is also a professional photographer. That day helping her is a highlight of many weeks, because it has made our relationship so much stronger. Stay strong, and take care of YOU!!

  82. You are so brave for sharing your story with us, Lisa. I have been married 34 years and still sometimes feel a lot of the way you did. It is a learning and growing process, for sure. I’m currently looking for a therapist and will work through some of these issues (as well as others). Hugs and blessings to you! xoxo

    1. Melanie, I have been married the same amount of years as you. My husband and I are going through something. I’m not sure what, but I too have been seeking out a therapist/counselor. I am hoping this helps me. Good luck and God bless you on your journey.

  83. ? Thank you Lisa for sharing. I wondered if you are an enneagram 2? You’ve chronicled a lot of my journey too. Love to you and yours.

    1. Lisa
      Your story resonates so closely to me. Didn’t know you or your story when I picked the two spindle rings for my daughter to choose for me as a mother’s day gift from my husband and her.. She chose Brave ❤️. That has so many meanings to me. I thought my marriage was over, but really, what was over was always trying to figure out what he wanted. His mood. Where was I? FAST FORWARD. Married 26 yrs w bumps cracks and closed roads,still a loving relationship my nick name that has been given to me by my daughter and husband is “ resilient “. I have experienced many medical surgeries, illnesses and one near death surgery and a progressive disease. I wear BRAVE LOVE WITH SO MUCH PRIDE ABD PEOPLE ASK ME ALL THE TIME, WHO MADE IT! Your a keeper

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