yesterday we drove to LA to meet with david’s heart surgeon.

i’ve been dreading the appointment, and feeling anxious.

i was going to take david by myself, but at the last minuate, steve decided to join me. (so glad!)

we dropped matthias off at school and had some good friends pick him up.

he had fun playing pirates and eating mcdonalds.

a lot more fun than waiting in a hospital all day!

first steve, david and i met with the nurse practitioner so they could take david’s history.

then we did xrays, bloodwork and EKG.

finally we met with the surgeon. by that point i was exhausted.

he explained the surgery (we’ll stop david’s heart,

use a machine to pump his blood,

use membrane from another part of the heart to close the hole,

we’ll have to cut through bone, and it takes 6 weeks to heal)

and i started feeling terrified. i mean knees-shaking afraid.

he also said some comforting things,

(on a scale of 1-10, 10 being very complex, he rates this surgery a 2.

our surgeon has never had a patient die from this procedure.

david will spend about 4 days in the hospital and his pain should be minimal.)

when we left the consulation with the surgeon i couldn’t stop crying.

and mostly, i just felt afraid.

today i’m reminding myself that we are chosing this surgery.

we want david’s heart to be healthy.

and i’m reminding myself that we have hope.

i believe God holds this situation and david’s heart in his hand.

and i’m so thankful to be david’s mommy.

so thankful for the joy and perspective and silliness he brings to our lives.

so thankful i have an amazing husband to walk beside me.

{and thankful to you for sharing this journey with us!}