we just introduced the new chosen {adoption} necklace and we’re thrilled with the response! my twin sister chrissie has agreed to share her miracle story of adoption with us! it’s such a beautiful story. these are her words…
I knew I wanted to be a mom someday. When Matt and I started talking about getting married and having a family, we talked about having kids. Maybe two or three or four little ones. Having kids was a given, there was no question about it. We looked forward to being parents together.

Matt and I got married, and marriage was sweet. I felt a beautiful sense of “home” being married to my love and my best friend. We took trips, ate out with friends, and spent quiet nights at home. We enjoyed being a family, the two of us. We were content. We still wanted to have kids, just not yet. Maybe next year, or in two years.

Five years passed. I felt as content as ever, being married to my wonderful husband. Our lives felt whole. Our friends started to have babies, but the time just didn’t feel right for us yet. I just wasn’t ready. It felt too soon. I thought maybe in a year or so, I’d be ready to start having children.

Another couple years went by. Our friends were having their second and third children. People started asking us questions more and more frequently and giving us advice. “How long have you been married?” “When are you going to have kids?” “Are you able to have kids?” Are you pregnant?” “I heard you’re expecting!” “Are you trying to get pregnant?” “What’s holding you back?” “Why are you waiting so long?” “Don’t wait too much longer.” “Just go for it.” Everyday I faced these questions, everywhere I went.

I began to feel an immense, overwhelming amount of pressure, and I was utterly confused. “What’s wrong with me? When will I be ready to start having children? What if I’m never ready? I’m past thirty. I’m getting older. What’s wrong with us? What am I supposed to do?” I was completely consumed with self-doubt, frustration, and sadness.As hard as I tried, I couldn’t make myself ready to have a child. I couldn’t muster the desire to get pregnant. It just wasn’t there. I couldn’t picture my belly growing or delivering a child. I thought about pregnancy and motherhood constantly. I loved children, so why didn’t I want to be pregnant? I began to think that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mother.

Matt and I talked about the possibility that we wouldn’t ever have children. I felt mostly fine with it. I felt a peace about just being the two of us. Life together was full and sweet, and there were plenty of opportunities to teach and nurture children in capacities other than parenting. I was still teaching and working in the nursery at church. I had nieces and nephews I adored.

Maybe God had taken away our desire to have children because he had a different plan for us. I began to try to settle into this new way of thinking, “Okay, so we probably won’t have kids.” Of all the situations I could conjure up, this made the most sense. We would be one of those couples that never had kids. We would march to the beat of our own drummer. We didn’t have to fit into the pattern that culture laid out. We could be different and that could be good. I told myself all of these things, and I believed them. Or mostly believed them.

Until one Sunday a few months later when everything changed. We were eating lunch in a Mediterranean restaurant near our house. My face was buried in my hands and I was sobbing uncontrollably into my hummus. (Fortunately, the restaurant was almost completely empty.) Matt listened patiently and with concern as I blubberingly spewed all my thoughts and feelings. He listened and nodded and listened and stared at me, wondering if I had completely lost it.We decided to go the foster care route. My good friends, Paul and Tracy, had been foster parents and recommended we use the same agency they went through. Tracy gave me the phone number, and I filed it in my planner. All I needed to do was work up the courage to call.

I was nervous. I had no idea what I was doing, and I worried that I wouldn’t be qualified to be a foster parent. A couple days later, on my lunch break, hands trembling, I dialed the number for the foster agency. I stumbled over my words, trying to articulate the fact that my husband and I wanted to be foster parents. We made an appointment with a case worker to come visit our home to interview us and do an initial home inspection.

I started cleaning, organizing, and trying to make us appear to be the perfect couple. I worried that I was too fat, not good-looking enough, too old, and a whole bunch of other superficial details that have nothing to do with being a loving parent.

The interview was simple enough, a few basic questions and explanations. We took our case worker around our home, and she pointed out different areas where would need to make adjustments to ensure safety for children-outlet covers, locks on cabinets, decals on glass doors, and on and on. She was very friendly and affirming. She gave us a stack of papers an inch thick to start filling out.

We got right to work on the papers, answering personal question after invasive, personal question, and getting the house ship shape. We also started telling family and close friends about our plan to become foster parents. As you can imagine, we received a wide range of responses. Most were supportive, some concerned, some discouraging, some knowing a child who needed a home and hoping it might work out with us. Everyone with an opinion. My level of excitement and fear never waned. Daily I continued to do research and pray and dream.

During this time, I took a trip by myself to the central coast to visit my twin sister, Lisa. On the drive up I was chatting on the phone with my friend, Michele. We were catching up, talking about everything and nothing. At one point she mentioned that our friend, Les, had twin nieces who were staying with his parents for awhile. She said their names and told me they were three years old.

It was just a passing comment, just an update, an aside. But I couldn’t get their names out of my head. It seemed like there was something there. I can’t explain it. Something stirred in my heart. Have you ever had that sort of reaction to an otherwise ordinary situation? These little girls, whom I had never met, were already in my heart. I couldn’t wait to meet them.

chapter two coming soon!